If you’re familiar with the Enneagram, I am a “1 wing 9, reformer (perfectionist)/peacemaker.” I have a tendency to believe that every decision should have a perfect outcome that makes everyone happy. Early in the pandemic, I began to recognize that when faced with a choice where I didn’t like either option, I struggled with finalizing the decision. The pandemic helped me acknowledge that making perfect decisions pleasing everyone is rare, if not impossible.
It’s one thing to decide to vacation at location A or location B, or to focus on project A or project B, when both are desirable. Data can be collected and options can be analyzed before a selection is made. But what about when faced with decisions where neither option is desirable?
During the last year, I recall days I struggled to make a decision because I didn’t like any of the options or the situation itself; I was challenged with indecisiveness. I remember telling myself, “Michele, you just have to decide. A better option is not going to come up.” I knew I had to make a choice or a recommendation and move forward. In the long run, the experience of this last year has had a positive impact on my decisiveness, and part of that was acknowledging the factors that were making me indecisive.
When we find ourselves struggling to make a decision, it can help to take the time to determine if there are other reasons that make the choice more challenging:
- Is there a fear of failure, a fear of taking risks or accepting responsibility for the decision, or a feeling of loss if we choose one option over another?
- Are we avoiding finalizing a decision because we continue to feel the need for more data, or because none of the options are appealing?
- Are we allowing our emotions, assumptions, and/or biases to cloud our thought process? Are we afraid we will disappoint others?
- Have we hit decision overload, and need to take a pause and clear our minds?
Once we recognize what may be causing difficulties in our decision-making process, we can look at the options through the lens of our core values and move forward with decisiveness.
Thinking about decisiveness and the roadblocks to decisiveness brought to mind a quote a friend shared a couple years ago by Resource Teacher and Wellness Instructor, Devon Caldwell: “You don’t have to have it all figured out — just do the next right thing.”
Originally posted in the Owasso Reporter
