Showing Respect for Others

I can still remember the day I woke up in a panic. It was November 24, 2008, around 4 o’clock in the afternoon.

For a moment, I thought I was late.

For the previous four and a half years, my life had been planned out by college football coaches in fifteen-minute blocks. Meetings, workouts, practice, meals, travel, film study — everything had a time, and every time had an expectation.

And they repeated a phrase that many of you have probably heard:

“If you’re fifteen minutes early, you’re on time. If you’re on time, you’re late.”

So when I woke up that afternoon, my body reacted before my mind caught up. I panicked because I assumed I was supposed to be somewhere. But then I realized something: I was done. My football career had ended. I didn’t have practice. I didn’t have a meeting. I didn’t have to be anywhere.

So I laid back down. But I never forgot that feeling.

That was the first time I realized how deeply punctuality had been formed in me. It had become more than a habit. It had become a value.
As I continued to mature, I realized that I had reduced punctuality to simple time management. But punctuality is much bigger than just watching the clock.

The definition I want to use today is this:

Punctuality is showing respect for others by doing the right thing at the right time.

That definition brings out something deeper.

Punctuality involves planning.
It involves preparation.
It involves valuing people.
It involves reliability.
And it involves priorities.

And all of those are major components of leadership.

In my house, I eventually coined a phrase:

“Don’t be an hour early and still show up five minutes late.”

Now, that may sound strange, but I had to learn it the hard way.

I am someone with a large to-do list and ADD that matches the size of my to-do list. And I began to notice something about myself. There were times when I could be ahead of schedule — technically an hour early — and still somehow walk in five minutes late.

At first, I was baffled. How can someone prepare early and still be late? So I started placing more emphasis on planning, preparation, and making commitments. And those things helped. They got me closer.

But I still noticed a pattern. I could prepare well, leave too little margin, squeeze in one more task, and still fail to be punctual. Then, a couple of years ago, I was mowing my yard, and something hit me. I had become so focused on being efficient that I had missed what was optimal.

Efficiency asks, “How much can I get done?” But Optimal asks, “What matters most right now?” And that was the part of the equation I was missing: priorities.

I realized I had begun prioritizing the completion of one more task over the person waiting on the other side of that task. I had fallen in love with the sweet satisfaction of checking one more item off my list. And if we’re honest, there is a real satisfaction that comes from crossing something off. It feels productive. It feels responsible.

But the last task before a meeting or commitment almost never goes according to plan.

Something takes longer than expected.
A phone call comes in.
An email needs one more response.
The printer jams.
Traffic is worse than expected.

And suddenly, what looked efficient becomes disrespectful. That is when I had to remind myself: punctuality is not about protecting my schedule. It is about honoring the people connected to my schedule.

At the end of the day, my tombstone will not list the total number of tasks I completed in my lifetime. But gathered there, I hope, will be people who can say, “Jeremy respected people. Jeremy honored commitments. Jeremy could be trusted.”

Because at the end of every task is a person.
Behind every meeting is a person.
Behind every appointment is a person.
Behind every responsibility is a person who is affected by whether or not I do the right thing at the right time.

That is why punctuality matters. Punctuality builds trust before we ever say a word.